Pushing emotions away never helps you work through them. Don’t be afraid to speak with someone (your options counselor, a licensed counselor, etc.) who can help you figure out why you might be feeling a certain way. These emotions often come in waves and when you least expect them. Acknowledge your pain and validate your feelings. Be angry, sad, or scared. Be kind to yourself.

You’ll be tempted to “make yourself better” by launching back into your pre-pregnancy life. Don’t rush this. Take time to rest, eat well, and heal from within.

Whether it comes from family, friends, the adoptive family you matched with, or a counselor, it is important to have people who know what you are going through. You need to have someone you can go to when your emotions are threatening to take over. We learn from each other. Hearing the love and support from every member of the adoption triad helps heal a heart. Remember, you are not alone.

In the months leading up to the birth, educating yourself about what emotions you might feel later in the process could make a huge difference. Feeling prepared for what is ahead could keep you from feeling overwhelmed by everything once the placement has occurred.

Having an outlet such as writing or drawing can help you process what you are feeling. By putting things on paper or typing them out, you give yourself the chance to acknowledge why you might be feeling a certain way.

There are many support groups, online chats, and testimonies written by birth mothers that you can find online. Each one will help you realize that you are not alone in the way you are feeling; there are many women who can relate to what you are going through. Find them and connect with them!

Be sure to check out the website bravelove.org. Their entire mission is to support expectant and birth moms. They offer great resources to help you deal with a range of issues, offer support groups, and supply information that you will find very helpful.